Inflaming passions I was shocked to read the letter, “Moral Amnesia” by Abdallah Bin Eifan (June 26). He wrote: “He must be joking. Egypt does not get a fraction of what the Zionist state of Israel gets from the US. The pampered child is showered with trillions of dollars every now and then from the tax-payers money. The most sophisticated weapons are given to Israel.” From where did he get this information? Can I go somewhere to verify it? You know people can say virtually anything. But can they substantiate it? He wrote: Who should stop the violence? Palestinians or the Zionists? Who should be condemned? The one holding the gun and tanks or the young children holding stones?” Need I remind him that the Palestinians are using more than stones? There have been suicide bombers and snipers. I think people should
take care when advocating violence. You know that the people most hurt by
violence are usually the most innocent of victims on both sides. It really
bothers me when innocent victims are put in harms way. Try to have a
deflationary posture, not an inflationary one. I hope that peace can still
be an option.
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Female pedestrians cause 50% of road accidents in
the Kingdom
JEDDAH - Female pedestrians cause 50% of road accidents in the kingdom, according to a study conducted by DR. Fahd Turkistani of Umm Al-Qura University. “Most women cross roads without considering the speed of oncoming vehicles,” Turkistani told Al-Riyadh newspaper, adding that they included schoolgirls and women going for shopping. Turkistani pointed out that some women, who travel in luxury cars driven by their servants, cause accidents by giving sudden orders to the driver to turn right or left without any regard to traffic regulations. “Some women tell limousine drivers to stop abruptly when they see, say an attractive dress at a shopping center,” he said. such behavior leads to accidents. The study pointed out that women caused some of the road accidents by suddenly getting out of the car, unmindful of incoming vehicles. “They also tell their drivers to stop the car by the road to purchase something from street vendors. This is another violation of traffic rules,” he added. “Sometimes women get into long arguments with their husbands who drive the cars. The husband then loses his concentration and gets involved in accidents,” he pointed out. Turkistani emphasized the need for educating women about traffic rules in order to avoid such accidents. Meanwhile, six people died in three road accidents on the Riyadh Expressway on Thursday. The bodies of the victim’s are kept at Afeef Hospital. “Five of the victims died before reaching the hospital,” Ahmad Al-Mahbadly, director of the hospital, told Arab News. The hospital treated 10 members of a family who were injured in another accident the same day.. Women’s fault I would like to respond to the story by Dr. Fahd Turkistani (July 20) accusing women pedestrians of causing 50 percent of road accidents. The story stated, “Most women cross roads without considering the speed of incoming vehicles.” Couldn’t it be argued that many motorists are driving too fast and, therefore, not in control of their vehicle when they near a crossing pedestrian? Turkistani went on to say that some women, who travel in luxury cars driven by their servants, cause accidents by giving their drivers sudden orders etc. Then he accuses women of getting out of the car without looking, and demanding cab drivers to stop abruptly to buy a dress or buy from vendors. Then they are accused of causing accidents because they argue with their husbands. If that is not enough, he stressed the need for women to learn the traffic rules. All these accusations and recommendations lay on a segment of the population that does not even drive. I was waiting to read in Turkistani’s piece that woman were also responsible for the debt crises in Azerbaijan. Why not? He blamed them for everything else. Anyone who has ever had the task of driving on the roads in this country will tell you (study or no study) that speeding, tailgating and aggressive driving in general are the main reasons for most traffic accidents. I cannot believe that anyone would try to camouflage this simple truth. I must admit, stories like Turkistani’s, diminishes the credibility of your otherwise good newspaper, and are too funny for words. It is also stories like that one that keeps me buying your newspaper. TM, Jeddah published 21 July 2002 |
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Ostracism This is in response Khaled Al-Maeena’s question (Oct. 19) “How many white American Christians experienced problems after the bombing in Oklahoma? It has to be remembered that there have been many acts of terrorism against American interests and Americans in the past: The USS Cole, the WTC Tower a few years ago, Marine barracks in Lebanon, the Kenya and Dar es Salaam embassies, twice in Saudi Arabia and possibly more. These acts allegedly have been committed by Middle Eastern people. And now the WTC towers on our soil. Right or wrong, these
acts collectively are the reason why this discrimination is occurring.
Americans did not wake up one day out of the blue and decide to suspect
Middle Eastern people. |
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Disgraceful spectacle
The disgraceful spectacle of sports has become an abomination unto civilization! Sports has become nothing more than an opportunity for the rabble to get drunk and unleash their infantile passions and hysteria. The players are no better, they have the emotional self-control of children, which is to say they have no control at all. When a child throws a tantrum it is merely annoying — when a grown man throws a tantrum, it is a painfully embarrassing thing to watch. The drunken mob and the emotionally unstable players are well met, which would be fine if these two schools of primitive thought and conduct would confine their pointless noise and mayhem to the stadium, and allow those with a higher purpose in life to go about their constructive affairs. Instead, the fans are allowed to wander the streets like mischievous goblins sowing death and destruction in their path, while the players are allowed the freedom to bite the ears off of people and cut their wives’ throats. Before England became a somewhat
civilized country, the citizens found great amusement in going to the insane
asylum at Bedlam and laughing at the antics of their favorite lunatic.
Similarly, in America, the people have found the tragic life of Mike Tyson a
source of great fun for the whole family, and watching the mentally tortured
lunatic fight will be the most profitable media event since Sept. 11. Many
people think that their race, religion, culture and country are somehow
represented by the simple, childish game of soccer. How can a children’s
game possibly represent the higher concepts of civilization? That’s like
saying a monkey represents the great philosophers. Let’s play ball I read a letter by Steve Cocoran called “Disgraceful spectacle” (June 13). Steve writes, “Sports have become nothing more than an opportunity for the rabble to get drunk and unleash their infantile passions and hysteria”. I would like you to remind Steve that golf, tennis, polo, baseball among others are also sports. I can honestly say that in all my years I have never seen golfers throwing temper tantrums as he puts it. And I have never heard of groups of golf fans getting drunk and unleashing their infantile passions and hysteria as he says in his letter. Of course, there are some young people in certain sports the world over that seem to get a little bit caught up in their favorite team etc. However if you look at all the games played versus the incidents he alleges, you would probably find that the incidents he points out are so small that they are not worth mentioning. Yes there are overzealous players and spectators in certain sports. But let’s face it: These people don’t represent the majority of sports players and spectators by any stretch of the imagination. Frankly, Mike Tyson does not represent all sports professionals any more than the young Saudi spectators that blow their horns and block traffic when their beloved team scores a victory represent all sports spectators. It is ridiculous to assume otherwise. Batter up! Let’s play ball. Go team go!! Go team go!! Go team go!! TM, Jeddah published 15 June 2002 |
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CNN-informed
Robert Falco, Robert Ceferelli and Robert McKinney have recently declared that Americans are the best informed people in the world. Unfortunately, the Robert Coalition failed to inform us about just what exactly they were so well informed about. Robert Falco told us that Americans were well informed because a lot of foreign students go to American universities. Great! The next time that I can’t find Canada on the map or add two and two, I’ll ask a foreign student to help me. Let’s examine America’s fountain of knowledge, CNN. That’s the corporation that gives you in-depth interviews with Madonna. Whenever there’s “breaking news” the CNN reporter never reports any facts, he just hands the microphone to any bystander who then happily babbles and rambles about things he knows nothing of. Sometimes, the reporter will actually ask a question which always goes like this: “Your son was just killed by a shark. How does that make you feel?” The imbecility of CNN interviews requires no further comment. The CNN panel discussions are simply disgraceful. They are conducted on the model of childish arguments. An important point, missed by the Robert
Coalition, is that the American media give the Israelis all the time they
want to present their side of the issue. Then, in order to present the
illusion of objectivity, they throw a few scraps of time to the
Palestinians. On the other hand, in Saudi Arabia you are free to watch CNN
and BBC’s pro-Israeli reporting 24 hours a day, and you are also free to
read the Arab News reports on the Palestinian side of the issue. That’s a
fact that’s taken for granted by those who live here, but is understandably
missed by those who aren’t here. That fact also blows away the stereotype of
Saudi Arabia being a censored society. The Robert Coalition challenged us to
name one country that was better informed than America. Spin a globe, stop
it with your finger, and there’s your answer! The coalition also informed us
that they could show us thousands of pro-Palestinian articles available
through the American media. Show me ten. If you want to have some fun with a
“best informed” American, just ask them who the mayor of their city is.
I read a letter by Steve Corcoran, Abqaiq (May 19 — “CNN-informed”) May I respond to some of his points? Steve referred to CNN as America’s “fountain of knowledge”. How about referring to Reuters, AP, TV newsmagazines, National Public Radio, NET, libraries, magazines, the thousands of newspapers, cable news programs, leased access programs etc.? What a dopey statement to assume that CNN is where all Americans get all their information! Steve wrote regarding the Arab News reports on Palestine: “That fact also blows away the stereotype of Saudi Arabia being a censored society.” Stevie boy, have you had occasion to notice the huge proxy block on the Internet? Steve wrote: “The coalition also informed us that they could show us thousands of pro-Palestinian articles available through the American media. Show me ten.” Perhaps you missed the CBS 60 Minutes topic a few weeks ago (on American TV as well as Orbit) about how some Israeli Army personnel are refusing to serve in the occupied territories. Just in case you don’t know, CBS “60 Minutes” is one of the most watched and most respected news programs in the USA, maybe the world over. That report was the most glaring example of the disapproval of Israel’s policies with regard to its handling of the West Bank and Gaza. Disapproval voiced by the Israeli reservists themselves. No one would call that piece on CBS “60 Minutes” (as you say) “a few scraps of time to the Palestinians.” Steve, you seem to want to point your
finger at us uninformed biased Americans. I suspect that your finger could
be turned inward as well. Think about it. But maybe not, because you are not
American.
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Who smears whom
I read a letter entitled “Hate mongers” by Herbert E. Phillipson, Jr., USA (May 22). Herbert wrote: “Al-Maeena blasted the smear campaign against the Qur’an after the Sept. 11 terror attacks” Mr. Maeena may be going after the result, not the cause. The media did not do the original smearing; the Sept. 11 maniacal mass murderers who killed innocent people have done it. These people who do bad things in the name of their religion are responsible for doing more damage to the good name of the Islamic religion than any media campaign I could think of. These maniacal mass murderers are doing more harm to Muslims the world over than to the people they are supposed to be fighting against. In my opinion, no Western media or any media anywhere would need to smear the good name of the Islamic religion, people like the ones I mentioned above have taken care of that. Muslims who feel as though they have been stigmatized by said individuals should be outraged and are burdened with the task of damage control. How unfortunate. TM, Jeddah published 24 May 2002
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Kids on planes I recently flew out of the Kingdom. I wonder what goes through people’s minds when they travel with their children? I have seen children doing some of the most unbelievable things on planes. One kid and his sister were doing headstands on a plane. Food fights as well. I once got hit on the forehead with a pad of butter. How about foot races in the aisle? One flight I was on, both parents were sound asleep and the kids were playing out a scene from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was about two seconds away from placing both of them in the overhead compartments. I try not to get angry with the kids, as it is not their fault. They are kids. I really believe the parents are at fault. Don’t they have the capacity to understand how disruptive the kids are to the majority of the others on the trip? There are certain passengers who may be claustrophobic or who are uneasy about flying anyway. These passengers may enjoy a little peace and quiet. I have been climbed on and stepped on. One kid even took my shoes and was wearing them around the plane. I had to chase him to get my shoes back. When a plane is fully loaded like those that leave the Kingdom, it is the parents’ responsibility to control their children and not let them use the aircraft as his or her private amusement park. I also believe that the airline should give parents a set of written guidelines that they agree to follow.
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A report which should open Arab eyes We all know a great deal about surveys and reports. Too often they involve teams of highly-paid experts — who, I have always wondered, decides they are experts? — drawing conclusions from data they may not fully understand and realities they may know very little about. Except of course for what they learn from other surveys, reports and statistics. A report released in Cairo this week, however, is different. It is entitled “Arab Human Development Report 2002” and according to Rima Hunaidi, director of the UN Development Program in Arab States, “was written by Arabs for Arabs.” Hunaidi, a former deputy prime minister of Jordan, invited the authors of the report “to come and look at the problem and decide why Arab culture and Arab countries are lagging behind.” Among those overseeing the survey was Saudi Arabia’s Thoraya Obaid, the first woman to serve as director of the United Nations Population Fund. What, you are surely wondering by now, did the report find? There were, as in all reports, some good and some bad conclusions. First, some of the good. Arab countries have made substantial gains in life expectancy and reducing poverty. Commendable as these advances are, the report pointed out clearly that “much still needs to be done to provide people in the region with the political voice, social choices and economic opportunities they need for a better future.” I agree with this in general and feel that the time has come for Arab countries to strengthen both personal and institutional freedoms and to boost broad-based citizens’ participation in every political and economic undertaking. The report went on to show that while revenues from oil have brought many changes to the region, the Arab world is “richer rather than developed.” Productivity has declined in the last 20 years; research and development are virtually non-existent and what science and technology there is has been imported. In other words, as we have heard before: We are consumers, not producers and for our own good, this must be addressed and at least partially reversed. All of this must surely lead any thinking person to the only possible conclusion about what is wrong: Our educational system and its products. In my opinion, this is the root of the problem and if the problems of the root are correctly diagnosed and treated, the tree will live and prosper for many years. Far too many of our Arab schools and universities turn out parrots. I define “parrots” as those who have memorized a great deal but who can apply the material in no practical way. In other words, the students have learned principles and facts but not how to analyze their applications and uses or their strengths and weaknesses. These parrots cannot possibly evaluate anything since they have not been taught to do anything but memorize. And what can be expected in real terms of a parrot? Let us be fair. We have been told these things before. I am not the first to articulate them. We have had time to think about these points and to decide whether or not they are true. Have we thought? Have we decided? Or have we chosen to do neither? It is true that we are a traditional patriarchal society but that is by no means necessarily a fault. It does not mean that we are closed to ideas, innovations and ingenuity unless we choose to be. We never like for outsiders to point out what they believe are our faults. In fact, we are quick to condemn them for doing so but the truth is that we ought to consider carefully what they say. The man standing outside a house may see the fire in the basement before those on the second floor even smell the smoke. Sometimes what is said is unpleasant; it is not what we want to hear and not what we want to be true. Still it deserves analysis and if it turns out to be true, some kind of corrective action must be taken. If it turns out to be false and can be shown to be so, then we can indulge in one of our favorite pastimes: Finger-pointing. But is finger-pointing useful? Does it solve any problems? One item in the report particularly shocked me. “The whole Arab world translates 330 books annually, one-fifth the number that Greece translates.” No one of course would maintain that every book written is worth translating but certainly of all the millions of books published every year, there should be more than 330 worth translating into Arabic! And where are our translators? How many Saudis do you know who can translate Arabic into French or English? Hebrew or Japanese? Rest assured that in all those countries, there are people who have studied Arabic, are fluent in it and who can translate accurately and quickly. The report went on to say — and this is shameful indeed when we consider the Prophet’s injunction about seeking knowledge even as far away as China — that since the time of the Caliph Mamoun, a thousand years ago, the Arabs have translated the same number of books that Spain translates in a single year. The implications of this are plain and, in the long term, devastating. An immense quantity of information is thus unavailable to the Arab world. Archaic laws are responsible for some of this but another problem is a lack of curiosity — and so we come back to the parrot. It never seeks new information; it simply repeats what it has been told, blissfully unaware of anything else. These days when we talk about information, we automatically think of the Internet. And what is the state of the Internet in most Arab countries? Well, restrictions on its usage and high charges for the service make it poorly-used. While there are certainly objectionable sites, there are also many which are useful, educational and informative — and they ought to be widely used in any institution which calls itself a school, college or university. The report makes very sobering reading. Much of what it says is not what we would have chosen. It does recognize and address our problems and we ought to read and ponder what it says. I believe that it should be distributed to all Arabs so that they can get an idea of the state of the entire house and not just the room or corner where they live. It should be compulsory reading for all teachers and should be followed by seminars and conferences for discussing the problems and producing solutions. One of our greatest problems is that we may see the problem and even the solution but still remain unable to take the necessary action. Here we come to another great problem in the Arab world: The lack of accountability. Those in authority should be held accountable for what they do and for what they fail to do. Just as in most jobs, certain duties are part of the job; failure to discharge those duties results in the loss of a job and perhaps even punishment as well. The same should apply to those who are public servants; they hold their jobs in order to serve the public and they should be held accountable both for their failures and their successes. In conclusion, the report must be looked at with an open mind and efforts must be made to produce solutions. It would indeed be a terrible tragedy if, 20 years from now, a similar report were made and the same unsolved problems were identified. It is up to us to read the report, agree or disagree with its findings and act accordingly. “Now will the customs officer who confiscated my book at the airport, please return it to me.”
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In defense of US I read Miss S.N.’s letter called “We are traumatized”. I would like to reply to some points she brought up regarding my opinions. I would like to clarify why I began to contribute to the letters section of the Arab News. The reason is I want to bring up interesting, thought-provoking angles in which to look at topics. And like others, correct what I believe are misstatements. Also, I believe it beneficial to help enlighten Middle Easterners about the way others may see them. This I hope will ultimately help them, not hurt them. Knowledge is power. Continuing on, Miss S.N. wrote: “Well, no need to love those “freaking Muslims.” I never said anything like that. My writing would not include such derogatory terms. Regarding Miss S.N.’s statement about America being her enemy, I would like to point out that she really needs to look at America as well as this issue and other peripheral issues from a post-World War II historical perspective. Is she aware that America and the Allies were responsible for liberation of millions of persecuted people all over Europe and Asia? Does she think Hitler would have stopped persecuting only the Jews, Catholics, Gypsies? I don’t think so. I can only shudder to think what the world would be like if WW II did not turn out the way it did — with victory for Allies. I am truly amazed at how little Middle Easterners know about WW II. But monumentally important it was in shaping the world we live in today including Palestine/Israel. If she knew her history, she may have a different attitude toward the US. The second part of her letter holds much truth. I hope she can and will get her point of view out to the West through the media as Muhammad Omar Al-Amoudi stated in his piece called The Shortcomings of the Arab Media. Let me close by saying that America (the champion of human rights as she says) is not perfect by any means. But no country in the history of the human race has massed such power and abused it the least. Miss S.N. can at least give us that much.
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A mother’s protest I am a mother from Saudi Arabia whose son is graduating from a college in the United States of America this spring. Like every mother, I have been dreaming of my son’s graduation day. For the last five years, I have proudly watched him strive and work hard to achieve his goal and I never questioned being there to share this moment with him. However, when this long awaited day came, I found myself unable to travel to the States to share this day with my son. No matter how much my son’s graduation means to me, my distress and resentment at Washington’s Middle East policy prevented me from going there. This is my way of protesting the blind siding of President Bush and his administration with the Israeli government in their brutal attack on the Palestinians. I still have good feelings toward the American people and toward the country in which I lived for seven years and from which my husband had graduated years ago. But as long as the American government continues to support war criminals like Sharon, I will not set foot there. I am sure that many American mothers will feel the sacrifice I am making by missing my only son’s graduation and I hope that my words will reach their hearts and make them realize how we mothers in the Middle East feel. We work hard to provide them with the best of everything: Love, security and education. We dream of giving them a better life and a better place to live. Thus I, being a mother myself, cannot detach myself from the suffering and pain of the Palestinian mothers when I watch their pain and agony from losing their children, their homes and their dignity. Finally, although I know my son will miss me on his graduation day, I am sure that he will understand and respect my decision. A Saudi Mother published 7 June 2002
An American’s protest I felt it necessary to reply to the letter “A mother’s protest” by A Saudi mother (June 6). The person who wrote the letter is speaking out of both sides of her mouth. I am not condemning or condoning the American policy toward Israel. However if this women is so incensed about such a policy, then why does she not just take the boy out of school and put him in a school with a better policy toward Israel? The American policy toward Israel has been viewed as bad by Saudis for long before her son started in school. As a matter of fact it was viewed as horrible back in 1974 when King Faisal imposed an oil embargo on the USA because of such a policy. It seems that neither her son nor her husband should have ever attended our universities to begin with! What I hear in that letter is “I am protesting the American policy part of the way but not all the way.” If you are going to talk the talk then you should walk the walk. She wrote: “I still have good feelings toward the American people and toward the country.” For her information, the American government is “Of the people, by the people, and for the people.” You need to keep in mind that we are the government and the government is us. The American government does not always work perfectly that’s for sure. But people risk their lives daily to get there. In closing, let me invite this Saudi mother to use our free society to fully inform us of her distress and resentment toward our Israeli policy.
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Arab News July 04 2002
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This is a brief chronicle of some of my adventures from around the globe. 11 Years Overseas I got to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia just about at the end of the gulf war. At this time I am living above a dress store in a Pakistani neighborhood about 4 miles from the hospital in sunny Riyadh. This will give you some insight into living here and some of my travels over the years. Here goes Nov. 1991 up to present “Greetings from Saudi Arabia” I just finished my 11th year as an Clinical Engineer in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. This place and the people here will never fail to fascinate, shock, Appall or make me bust out in laughter. After working with 50 different nationalities, I can really appreciate how fortunate I am coming from the West. Life here is pretty much ordinary for me in the usually odd way. I can't go out to a bar or movies or stuff like that. However I put in a 10-hour day, so by the night I am beat and don't want to do much. The weekends are often boring. Shopping is a big past time activity. However the key to making this place worthwhile is to take most of your money home with you. And not buy a lot of junk you really don't need. Someone told me once: "People spend money they don't have, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like". Dating is always difficult but you can manage. It's all up to how much of a risk you want to take. If you get caught, the punishment is deportation. They have also been known to stamp "Prostitute" on the female's passport before they boot her out of the country. However I don’t know that for sure. In case you were not aware, in this society single boys and girls are kept separated in public. And they have religious police roaming around to make sure people who are together on the streets are legally married. This means you have to keep your marriage license with you at all times or you go directly to jail. So if you want to have a nice quiet dinner with a lady friend, or a female colleague, if you get caught, you can go to jail The irony is, you can, and often do see two boys strolling down the street holding hands. For obvious reasons, homosexuals from other countries don’t mind working in Saudi Arabia. These odd laws are why most people don't bother to get too involved with someone. Or keep their activities very discreet. There are a few places normal people can go that are relatively safe. I hooked up with the American Embassy group. Like all embassies, the US Embassy has a pub. This is a beautiful thing. I was lucky to meet some kind people who let me join them. In case you were not aware, this is a dry country. If the police suspect you of drinking, you get taken to the local general hospital for a blood test. If you have alcohol in your blood, you go directly to jail. These are the rules like it or not. A friend of mine got arrested last year for boozing it up. He spent a few weeks in jail but did not get deported. I stopped by to give him a pizza. A few days later I came by with another pizza he thanked me for the pizza but told me to take the box with me. Because the guys in jail spent the next 2 days smoking the pizza box. He said it smelled awful! It is considered impolite to start a conversation without a bunch of hellos and a bunch of Peace's. A typical conversation begins something like this: Good morning to you. Good morning of light. Good morning of flowers. Good morning of Peace. Peace to you Peace ona you Give Peace a chance. I fall to pieces. (Reprise) Regarding this place, it’s really not too bad once you get used to it. Still the most outrageous thing is watching a beheading in the City Square. It's as gruesome as you can imagine watching the worker drag the headless body to a waiting truck then running back for the head. I saw a double-header a few weeks ago! I read an article about the swordsman that cuts off the condemned mans head. His name is Saeed Saif. "Saeed" means happy, "Saif" means sword. "Mr. Happy" the swordsman. Can you believe beheadings in a public square still occur?
I am driving a Hyundai Excel. Let me remind you of some Riyadh driving rules. 1)- The red light means go through. The yellow light means go faster. The green light means nothing. 2)- It's your right as a resident to make left turns from the extreme right lane. 3)- You should stop your car only when: You reach your destination. You hit something. It's time for dinner. 4) - A cell phone is an important part of the vehicle. Do not ever turn it off
5)- You are not allowed to make a U turn at a red light unless you feel like it. The horn or "Egyptian Brake Pedal" as some call it, is a very important part of your car. Remember to flash your lights when something happens or might happen and all other times. In the in the Middle East you don't have to fasten your seat belt, watch what you eat or cut down on smoking. Just as long as you look good. You should always avoid accidents because if a Saudi hits you it's your fault. However, if you hit a Yemeni go to the nearest police station and claim your prize! Another Dead Kangaroo Perth, Western Australia: 1993 This city is a very interesting place. It is the most isolated major city on earth. With consistently the best weather. I don't think Perth ever had an identity. So they decided to give it one. They gave it a "Cool" one. There is more cappuccino bars in Perth than you can imagine. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting cappuccino bar! They all have these catchy names like Cafe Dominic. You can't get a regular cup of coffee anywhere. I was considering getting arrested just to go to jail and get regular coffee. But I wasn't sure they even served it there. Fundamentally Perth is like England with good weather. Full of transplanted Euroweenies, Yorkshire white bread, Guys with sandals and socks and lots of Asians. No blacks. They do have Aboriginal people. Perth's biggest attraction is the weather. Comfortably sunny every day. Perth also has one casino. It's called Burswood. While in Perth, I had to stay one night in a youth hostel. Hostels are huge houses where you stay in one room and share the common areas, Bath, kitchen, etc. It's like living with relatives you don't like. The only difference is you don't have to talk to them. You meet all these colorful Characters from all four corners of the earth in hostels. They are there for a few days then they are gone. I am usually the most interesting of them all. A New York American, living in Saudi Arabia as an engineer. I did however, meet a 22-year-old oil prospector from New Jersey living in the Cambodian jungle. Three months on then three months off. I met him the first week out of the jungle. Boy was he a mess!
I also traveled to the South of WA. (Western Australia). Places with names like Dunsborough, Bussleton, Yellingup and Margaret River. This is WA's wine country. There are one and one half million people in Western Australia. One million live in Perth. These southern areas, to put it politely were relaxing. I think the big past time there is yawning. The average age is 105. I did meet a couple of very nice people. They invited me to their house. We stayed up all night listening to Jimmy Buffet and watching soccer Aussie rules. One of the guys was a Jimmy Buffet freak. I never met a Jimmy Buffet freak before. I managed to see kangaroos as well. Unfortunately the first five I saw were flattened on the side of the road. I did get to see live ones. I even fed some. It was a job driving 1000 kilometers on the left side of the road in a right hand drive automobile. I kept putting on the wipers when I wanted to signal. The attraction of the south is the beautiful beaches. The Indian Ocean waters are a little cold. Kind of like New York waters. In general Western Australia is a lovely place. And the water does spin in the opposite direction when you flush the toilet. “They Cooked Grandma!” Bali, Indonesia: 1993 After Perth I went to Bali Indonesia. This place was the most tropical and humid steamy place I have ever been in. You can taste the hole in your donut. I really did not like Bali. Don't confuse this place with the movie South Pacific. This place is a tiny Asian rock in the middle of nowhere. The place is quiet and dirty. The only plus is everything is so inexpensive. I did see a cremation right on the beach. (They cooked Grandma) The guy doing the cremation had a “Marlboro” hat on. My marshmallow jokes didn't go over too well. I met some great people and had an excellent time anyway. "Falling in Love with Love" Philippines 1995/2000 I have gone to the Philippines golfing a few times. The Filipinos are in love with love! Some highlights were mainly the cabs. They are so unique. One guy took me to the mall and all he played was love songs. One love song after another. By the time I got to the Mall I was in love with him! One guy had a Karaoke machine in his cab You guessed it Love songs. One guy had three little statues on his dashboard. One of Jesus, one of Mary and one of Buzz light-year. I am still trying to understand the association. The best was a guy who took me to the airport. This fella was a Catholic. He had a little alter on his dashboard candles, statues, pictures, incense, the works. It was like being in a confessional with wheels. When I got to the airport I was sure he was going to charge me 250 pesos, 6 Hail Mary's and 3 Our Fathers! Seeing a uniformed guard with a sawed off shotgun in front of a bank trying to operate a yo-yo is also pretty scary. Golfing was a real lot of fun. The whole male bonding thing. We did so much golfing. The golf course was set among the sugar cane fields. I managed to take a tour of the sugar mill also. It was actually very neat. I spent the rest of the time in Manila, shopping, and going out with friends. “Ricky Ricardo Where Are You” Dominican Republic: 1999 Another trip I took recently was to the Dominican Republic. I was supposed to meet some friends down there but they cancelled. So here I am in the DR all alone. I decided to go to an all inclusive beach resort. 80 bucks for room and all meals and drinks. I was fall down drunk the whole weekend. But that was another story. I was told to meet the guest services manager upon arrival her name was Sunshine. I expected to meet this little brown Dominican firecracker with 3 inch red spiked heels. Instead I saw a 6 foot blond Canadian gal. It was a complete surprise. The rooms were Ok and whole resort was quite a bargain. I did go to a casino down the road and won 300 bucks. The Dominican people are really really nice but they are forever dancing and banging on the tables chairs sinks and anything else playing Bongos! Bongos bongos bongos! They love the things! Everything about them. I went into the gift shop to buy a local CD. You guessed it, bongo music everywhere. I decided to buy a Christmas CD. Here are some of the songs. Chestnuts Roasting On Bongos White Bongos Rudolf the Red Nose Bongo Player Hark the Bongo Players' Sing. I decided instead to get a haircut at the local coiffeur. This woman couldn't wait to get me in the chair. The only problem was she could not work the scissors and comb together. I bet she could play those bongos though! The beaches were nice but Jamaican beaches were nicer. I had a nice time anyway. "The Blue Mosque is Really Grey" My Istanbul stories. 2000 I got to Istanbul airport and proceeded to find a cab. After finding one I got the usual space shuttle type ride. Scared the crap out of me! I think the car reached G-forces not experienced by man! In the Istanbul airport, I was in the bathroom and a guy was walking out with his fly open. I said, "Hey Bub your fly is open" He showed me his watch. I told him no you don't understand, I don't want the time I am telling you your fly is open and pointed to his crotch. He gave me his lighter. I said, "OK if you want to leave the bathroom like that go on" and smiled. He smiled back and left the bathroom. Oh Well. I arrived at the Kybele hotel (www.kybele.com). It is the nicest hotel to stay at. It has heaps of ambience. I toured the underground cisterns (looked like sewers) of Istanbul. They were built in 960AD Dark wet and steamy with beautiful clear water. Complete with Pokemon cards floating in it. Also batteries and a bunch of other junk. I bet Ed Norton would have loved that tour. Istanbul City has a weather beaten look. All the men have a thing about the 5-day look. They look like they are all auditioning for a George Michael video. I went to a place where there were religious artifacts precious to the Muslims. There were people weeping and praying crying and all that. It kind of reminded me of when I went to Graceland. I bought a lottery ticket in a store. I was thrilled when I could read in Turkish that I was a winner!! I had won 2 Million Lira. Wow I was ecstatic. Then I found out it was only $2.95. On the way back to Riyadh I was on a flight from Dubai to Riyadh. The flight was 90% full of labor workers contracted by the Saudi Government from Bangladesh. Most have never been on a plane before. They couldn't read or speak English. They did not know Arabic either. The flight attendant was more like a mother than an attendant. They had no idea how to use utensils they knew nothing about the keypad on the armrest. It really is amazing. They are just clueless. It is not their fault it is just that they come from a part of the world that hasn't got anything. Someone told me that more than half the earth's population has never used a telephone. Makes you think. "I Love LA" California: 2001 After a ton of bad weather in Manila, California has been wonderful. Beautifully sunny every day. Yesterday we went to Knott's Berry Farm amusement park. I suggested we go after 3 PM because it is half price and the park is open till midnight. We figured it would be pretty empty after 7PM. Well were we ever wrong. By 7:30PM the park looked like gangland USA. There were about five million teens there. I never saw so much body rings, nose things, tongue hooks and balls. One kid looked like a walking toolbox. Another thing, if you plan to move to California you better learn Spanish. We managed to go on the "Ultimate scream machine" "Montezuma's Revenge" and other scary rides. They were pretty good rides but still nothing like the NYC Subway. Now that's a ride!
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